Black Holes Can't Exist...

    I don’t believe in black holes. I know you’re thinking “okay? and?” Or “You’re not a physicist, how would you know?” And you’d be right, but I still have a brain.. 

    We know black holes form after a gravitational collapse… but “Collapse” is a process, it takes time. Anything that forms because of a collapse must therefore form, basically meaning that became something through change… which takes time.. 

Hold that thought for a second..

    At the epicenter of a nuclear explosion, matter doesn’t behave like stable “things”. Atoms can’t cleanly exist, then react, then stop existing.. they “flicker” out of definable states faster than time can measure or be able to visually show the changes over time. There’s no stable moment in time where something “is” before it’s acted on. 

For “it” to be “it”, “it” must form to be “it”.

    Now, take that and let’s go back to gravitational collapse. Anything pulled towards this singularity doesn’t fall as a whole, it’s stretched. The “closer” it gets towards this singularity, the more violently it’s structurally ripped apart… it breaks down before it “arrives”… it ceases to exist, since time itself breaks down.. 

    So, a singularity is, but isn’t. Because if it is, it would’ve taken time. Time can’t exist. So this becomes a temporal collapse. 
Yet.. again… for it to become, it must’ve became.. 

Sorry for the big boy words, but it’s the only way to explain this final conclusion..

    Therefore.. a literal singularity is not a physical object, because it must become an object. All this boils down to a mathematical artifact that shows the models has exceeded its domain of validity. (See, big boy words lol) 
Black holes, a complete, physical singularity forming as a true endpoint is just inconsistent. 

Do you agree?

Spinal Fusion Rant…

As someone who’s had spinal fusion (T3-L3, I think) life is pretty crap. Unless your doctor tells you that you NEED to get the operation, I highly suggest you don’t. Everything changed after the operation…
Most of the day to day activities I was used to doing didn’t change much, but not being able to bend definitely made my life difficult. Sitting for any longer than a few minutes is agony. Last night when I was migrating my old blog over to here, I had to get up numerous times, which unfortunately made me lose track of where I was in the process. So, a simple move took hours longer than it should have. 
Now, my back is going to be screwed for the next couple of days just because I needed to sit at a desk. Oh… and the other thing… not being to get a job is completely annoying. I’m 24, my mind is great, I want to work, but no employer will hire me. I can’t to physical labor because of the scaffolding on my spine, and performing desk work is nearly out of the question as well. I can stand for a while, but when my feet inevitably become tired, I can’t sit… I HAVE to lay down. 
Last year, I decided to start the process of applying for disability. But in the mean time, I’m stuck. No money, no job, barely any useful education (since I don’t have money to attend school anymore), just me and my thoughts. That’s kinda why I started this blog. This gives me a place to write out my thoughts and share them with all of you. I appreciate every single person who stumbles on this page and reads my posts!

Polish Blog Is Migrated Over!

 WOOOO!

I just got done moving the whooping 7 posts over to here! 😂

I recently was talking to someone who made me realize that I'm not Marek Kosinski.. but I'm Mark Koshinski. What's the point of trying to become something I'm not.. What's the point of using Google Translate to write blog posts in Polish, when I can write what I REALLY mean in English?

So.. my old blog (marekkosinski.pl) will be taken down, and this blog is replacing it. It'll take some time to get viewer (if any) over to this blog, but it'll happen.

I will start to post more, and I'm hoping to have a good amount of visitors to the blog by the end of the year. Here's hoping!

Dating Apps...

 I've been thinking about Tinder... I'm sure I won't find my solemate anywhere near here, but I still get on Tinder from time to time to look.

In the six years I've been using tinder, I've only ever gotten one match... that was my ex-girlfriend... After that though, I'ver never gotten any matches that led anywhere.

I've tried other dating apps and site, but still nothing. I've even tried to make my profile stand out to the point of having my friends' girlfriends build them, but still no matches. Maybe it's my standards, maybe I'm just too boring, or maybe the one for me isn't in a 100 mile radius..

At this point, I just go on to look. If someone matches with me, and isn't a bot, then we will see how it goes... but... I doubt that'll happen...

New Year, Same Thoughts...

 I think after yesterday's post, my brain decided to recall memories of every girl I've talked to or been friends with and project them into my consciousness. It didn't make much sense, but the dreams defiently brought a wave of depression over me.

There a reason behind every girl who stopped talking to me. Maybe we just drifted apart, or maybe I expressed my feelings for them and made it awkward lol. Every time that happened though, I learned something more about myself. 

For example, a girl I met in eleventh grade "H" was someone I honestly thought I had a future with. We would FaceTime every night, and always had something to talk about. We never had any dry conversations, and we would usefully end up falling asleep on the call. So.. After a while, I decided to ask her out. she said:

"No... Not yet..."

 It was obviously awkward for a few days after that, but we managed to get right back to where we were.

During Christmas break though, something changed. She stopped calling, she started only giving me dry replies over text like "haha' or "ya" and I was worried that maybe she was over me. She would still call me though, but only to talk about other guys. It honestly hurt more than if she just stopped talking to me altogether. So then I started to become dry.. and she just started to ghost me. 

The last time I talked to her was 4 years ago, when I drove to the college she was attending to catch up. It was nice to see her, but it just felt awkward... After a few hours, she gave me a big hug on my way out and I left. I haven't heard anything from her since then. 

She really meant a lot to me, and it was the first girl that I truly saw myself with long term. I know she's with a new guy now, and she would post pictures together that looked like she was truly happy. At the end of the day, that's all I wanted. I wanted to see her happy, and that's what makes me happy. 

PS.. Happy New Year!